Untitled Document

4. People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

General criteria for this essay:

To score a "6," the essay will be a well organized one that accomplishes the two requirements of the assignment. First, the writer must give at least two ways to reduce stress. Second, the writer must show with specific reasons and examples how the two ways will be effective in reducing the stresses of modern life. The essay will have a high degree of grammatical correctness and syntactic variety but may have slight flaws in writing, consistent with timed, first draft prose.

Every day, every hour, every minute, we face a lot of problems either in work or at home. Since the world is rapidly changing and modern life has become complicated, some new diseases have occurred, created by the complexity of modern life. Stress is a common "illness" people have to face. Some people read; some write; some exercise. Apparently, people have different ways of escaping stress. Yet there is an important question that should be answered: What are the best ways of reducing stress?

The first step that should be taken is to face the problems causing the stress bravely. Such problems should be carefully analyzed in order to find the main problem; that is, dealing with the main reason behind the stress. Let's say that you want to cut down a tree. You don't, of course, cut off all the branches first, because you want to cut down the whole tree. To cut branches wouldn't make sense. Thus, as mentioned earlier, the first step of reducing stress is to face the problem. It should be mentioned that failure to do so would aggravate the stress resulting in more and more anxiety.

Another way of reducing stress is to become an active member in a family and society. Participating in social activities will have the positive effect of reducing stress. To clearly explain this point, scientists have proven that social people live longer than others. Therefore, science would encourage people to be active in their societies.

In conclusion, people have different ways of escaping and reducing stress. But there are more effective ways to reduce stress: for example, facing the problems causing stress and being an active participant in society. However, we should consider the differences between people when asking the question about "ways to escape and reduce stress."

4. Comments on how this essay meets ETS criteria for a "6:"

This essay demonstrates clear competence in writing on both the rhetorical and syntactic levels

•By introducing the solution of facing the problem bravery, by suggesting that a person become an active member in his family and society, and by developing the two key points in subsequent paragraphs with specific reasons and examples, the writer has effectively addressed the writing task. He has shown that the two ways can be effective in reducing the amount of stress in a person's life.

•The essay has a strong thesis statement in the first paragraph, and the essay restates those key points as topic sentences in the remaining paragraphs to give the essay a tight organization. Acknowledging that there are different ways of escaping and reducing stress, the writer lets the reader know these two solutions may not work for everyone. But in an effort to closely tie all the ideas in the essay together, the writer brings the main points of the essay to a closure summarizing how facing the problems causing stress and being an active participant in society can be effective in eliminating stress in many instances.

•Paragraphs two and three use appropriate details to support the thesis. For example, in paragraph two, the writer uses the metaphor of the tree to show how important it is to face the problem directly (i.e., cut the tree down not its branches). The writer uses appropriate examples in the next two paragraphs to further support the key points proposed in the thesis.

•The essay displays consistent facility in the use of punctuation, particularly in the use of commas (i.e., every day, every hour, every minute, we face...), semi-colons (i.e., some write; some exercise), colons (i.e., question that should be answered: What are the best ways...; more effective ways to reduce stress: for example, facing the problems causing stress and being an active participant in society), and quotation marks (i.e., when asking the question about "ways to escape and reduce stress"). Also, that the writer join two gerund phrases with a conjunction indicates the writer has a good sense of parallel structure.

•The essay has a variety of sentence structures, some of which include adverb clauses (i.e., ...because you want to cut down the whole tree) , noun clauses

(i.e., ...scientists have proven that social people live longer than others, and reduced adjective clauses (i.e., some new diseases have occurred, created by the complexity of modern life). Indicating superior control of the rhetorical aspects of writing, the writer uses some short, simple sentences in the introduction in order to place more emphasis on that part of the text (i.e., some people read; some write; some exercise).

•The writer also has a good command of vocabulary (i.e., apparently, aggravate, complexity, anxiety ...) and transitional words (i.e., yet, the first step, thus, another way, in conclusion, for example, however...) to demonstrate appropriate word choice.