2. Some people say that it is best to be loyal and to work for one company during one's life. Others take the opposite view and say it is better to change jobs frequently in one's life. Discuss these positions, using specific examples of both. Then tell which position you agree with and explain why.
Score 1.0
Demonstrates incompetence in writing:
The introduction does not frame around the task of the assignment. There is no thesis statement.
Instead of discussing both positions, the writer contends that this is a problem that must be solved. The TWE prompt is not, however, asking for a solution to the problem.
It is possible that a TWE scorer may not even score this essay because it doesn't meet the constraints of the assignment: that of discussing both positions and then choosing which position is best to the writer.
The writer has problems with grammar and sentence structure: punctuation, subject-verb agreement, singular and plural count nouns, active and passive voice.
The essay has little or no development.
I think some people place a high value on loyality to the employer is not good, because that mean some people can't get high value. Therefore, I think this is not good. I don't know why some employer give high value, but this is look like White and Black people problem. I think kind of problem all countries has. So we must solve this problem.
Score 2.0
Demonstrates incompetence in writing:
This essay is better that the "1" essay in that it includes more development and has a clearer, more unified organization.
However, failing to frame the essay around the question, the writer begins with "I agree with..." Similar to the "1" essay, this writer does not discuss both positions first. As a result, this writer has failed to answer the first two parts of the essay question.
The writer needs to use specific examples as he discusses both opinions. This would add more development to the essay. Consequently, the essay contains a very brief list of generalizations without any substantial support.
The writer has problems with grammar and sentence structure: punctuation, subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, singular and plural count nouns, subordinators, and word choice.
I agree with this statement, because In this statement we can look that the people who was placed a high value on loyalty to the employer. If someone want to build up his career. He should learn and has many capability in many things like language, education, etc. By his capability, the people can build his self and automatically, He can be a success workers in their proffesion. He can grow-up his career through the change he will get up. So, the skill is Foundation for someone built his self & career.
Score 3.0
Demonstrates developing competence in writing:
This essay is better than the "2" essay in that it includes more development and has a clearer, more unified organization. The writer does discuss both positions though not at the organization of a "4" essay.
Failing to frame the essay around the question, this writer begins with "I disagree." Similar to the "2" essay, this writer does not discuss both positions first while maintaining objectivity on the issue. As a result, this writer has slighted the first two parts of the essay question.
The writer needs to use more specific examples as he discusses both opinions. This would add more development. As a result, the essay contains a brief list of generalizations without any substantial support.
The writer has problems with grammar and sentence structure: sentence fragments, subordinators, punctuation, infinitives, and a choppy sentence style. This essay does not display the syntactic variety of its "4", "5", and "6" essay counterparts.
I disagree. If you change jobs every few years. This is not good because If you want to make a good job. You need long time to do your job. So I disagree to change jogs every few years.
If you want to make a good job Maybe you need three to five years. If you stay a job for five years you can do anything and understand How do to work. If you change jobs every few years You need to study How do to make good work every day. It is not good to you and your compnant.
I like stay a one jobs for long time because This is can help me to get good work idea, good Power and make good money. I like it. I think the job in my life is very imperten. If I usually change jobs. I need to make new friends and new work idea, new boss. I don't like it. So I disagree to change jobs every few years.
Score 4.0
Demonstrates adequate competence in writing. Though the essay is not free of grammar and organizational problems, it passes:
This essay is better than the "3" essay in that it includes a clear, unified organization. The writer discusses both positions and then indicates his position at the end of the essay.
Framing the essay around the question, the writer begins with a thesis that addresses the "some" and the "others." This writer has answered all parts of the essay question.
The essay is not generally free of errors, which is a prerequisite for the "5" and the "6" essays. It has problems with the following: pronoun agreement, subject-verb agreement, word order, articles, prepositions, word forms, gerunds, and so on. Though the grammar errors are numerous, they do not significantly obscure meaning.
Everyone in world must work to get money for family and life in general. Some of these people prefer to work for one company. They are loyal to company. Other workers think that changing job is good. This persons is not loyal. I will discuss both positions.
For workers who work for one company, they say the company reward loyal. Also, these workers will get good benefits pension. So they stay at one company for long time.
Other workers argue that change jobs every few years is good. The grass is greener for them in other yard. They feel that they advance better by change jobs. Then they get better money.
I agree with placing high value on loyalty to the employer. Most people want to be better off. If they do not change jobs every few years, it will help them get more money to buy food, furniture, book and so on. This will also help the worker to have high career because he will a lot of knowledge and experience.
In conclusion, today's society need a intelligent person and activice person. Have high value on loyalty to the employer will achieve this result. This is my opinion.
Score 5.0
Demonstrates competence in writing:
This essay is better than the "4" essay in that it uses the specific examples of the worker and the teacher, thus allowing the essay to have better, more concrete details that support the generalizations.
So the essay has a tighter, more particular organization than that of the "4" essay.
Framing the essay around the question, the writer begins with a thesis that addresses the "some" and the "others." The writer discusses both positions and then indicates his position at the end of the essay.
However, at the end of the essay the writer simply agrees with staying at one company for a long time without giving any reasons why. Consequently, the essay has slighted a small task of the assignment. This is the reason this essay did not score in the six range.
The essay is generally free of errors, a key prerequisite for the "5" and the "6" essays.
But this essay does not quite have the high level of polish of a "6" essay.
Accountants, Lawyers, Middle and Upper Management workers, Teachers, and so on all need good jobs so they can earn much money. Hoping to get more experience and seniority, some of these workers stay at the same company for a long time. On the other hand, other workers from the above examples may change jobs often in order to get a variety of experience and opportunity.
If a worker wants to become a manager for a company, he will need to stay at that company for five or maybe ten years first. During that time, the worker can show boss his knowledge, hard work ethics, and loyal during that time. Also, as the worker work for a longer period of time, he gets more experience and seniority over another workers. Then when the opportunity arises, the boss may choose this worker as new manager. Then the worker gets better position.
Other workers may change jobs often for different experience and opportunity. A High School teacher may become tired by being in same job with same administration, same faculty year after year. The teacher may see an opportunity for better teaching job with better pay in another school district. So the teacher changes job for better environment and better pay.
Despite the difference experience and opportunities just mentioned in the last paragraph, I believe it is better stay at the same company for a long time.
Score 6.0
Clearly demonstrates competency in writing:
The six essay has a higher level of polish than that of the "5" essay.
The six essay does not slight any part of the question. The conclusion in the "6" essay is much stronger than that of the "5" essay.
The issue of being loyal to an employer or changing jobs frequently is a very controversial one. In the workplace, some people prefer to be loyal to one company by working there all of their life. Other workers disagree by saying it is better to change jobs frequently. Each position deserves some consideration.
Some say that it is better to be loyal to one company. Thus, this type of worker does not change jobs frequently. In this type of work environment, the workers place a high value on loyalty. The worker esteems this value by dedicating his entire life to that one company. The reward to this type of dedication is that the employer will give the worker a good retirement package when he reaches the age of 65. Then the employee will no longer have to worry about money when he gets old.
Others say that it is better to change jobs often in their career. First, they claim that the worker is more likely to get promoted if the worker changes to another company which will pay him more for the experience and expertise that he has learned. Second, this group of workers believe that if they are not happy with their job, then they should leave that job. So by changing jobs frequently, the employees can better guarantee job satisfaction. In effect, these workers place more values on the individual worker than the company.
In the final analysis, it is better to change jobs a lot. There has been much in the news about job discrimination. Many employers treat their employees badly. If employees do not quit, management will continue to treat workers harshly. Also, the employees will have a better chance for promotion if they leave their current job after a few years of work. Then the person can increase his quality of life.