1. Introduction
Once, you have established a focused introduction with a three point thesis, it is time for you to write the developmental paragraphs of your essay. This is where you should spend the most time, perhaps spending 15-18 minutes for your writing. In order to write strong, connected developmental paragraphs, you must be able to understand three things: qualities of a good paragraph, a good topic sentence, and common transition markers in a paragraph.
Have you ever talked to someone who couldn't stay on topic? Maybe when you were talking to him, he changed the subject many times during a short period. To illustrate this point, read the following conversational exchange:
John: How are you today?
Susan: I am Okay. I think I am going fishing.
John: Really? I love fishing.
Susan: Then I am going to go back to the house to read.
John: What kind of books do you like?
Susan: I read when I get bored. So did you talk to Mom this afternoon?
John: Yes.
Susan: Well, I think I am going to go fishing now. See you later.
From this conversation, you can probably guess that John will become frustrated since Susan keeps changing the topic so much that John doesn't really have a meaningful conversational exchange. The topic in this conversation should have been fishing.
Writing is also an interactive conversational exchange-it occurs between the writer and the reader. It is important to stay on topic, so the reader can follow your way of thinking. So, what are the qualities of a good paragraph?
Read the following two paragraphs, the first one representing a well-organized paragraph, the second one representing a disorganized paragraph:
Good paragraph:
First, the Internet has practically removed all barriers to communication that existed before the introduction of E-mail. You no longer have to rely on postal departments to send important documents. Services such as chatting allow you to correspond online with a person. Internet also provides facilities such as NetMeeting and Video conferencing where you can actually conduct a meeting or a conference with people in different parts of the world.
Disorganized paragraph:
Nowadays, a lot of people work in virtual teams. The members can live far away from each other or not know each other. But they work together. They belong to the same group. The efficiency of virtual teams is remarkable, which we can see in high tech industry. Because of Internet, virtual teams occur. This is a significant stage of business field. Internet is medium that I can connect with my family and friends even though all of us are live in different countries. I can use Internet to not only connect with the people whom I want to attach but also to do meaningful research . Internet makes people easily to find information that they want.
"Recognizing good and bad paragraphs" exercise
2. Topic sentence should connect back to a key point in the thesis.
Just as sentences in the paragraph relate to the topic sentence, the topic sentence should relate back to a key point in the thesis. This makes your essay have an overall connectedness, which is exactly what a TWE reader wants to see.
Consider the following sample "Six" essay written by an actual student who took a practice TWE:
TWE Prompt
Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important.
Choosing a roommate to live with is a much more important decision then most students think it is. To me, it is like giving your house key to someone you may not know too well. I need to be able to trust this person fully without a doubt in my mind that they will respect my privacy and personal belongings. Hanging out with someone and living with somebody are two very different activities. In order for me to choose a person worthy enough to be my roommate, that person must have specific qualities I am looking for. The most important characteristic should be honesty. Other traits I would look for is cleanliness and a clean slate.
If I am going to live with someone, it is imperative that they understand and practice honesty. My possessions are of high value to me and I want to be able to leave the room worry free; that is, even my smallest insignificant piece of property goes untouched unless permission is granted. I would treat the other person's property in the same fashion, so I expect it in return.
I cannot stand to live in a disorganized place where everything is cluttered around. I am a neat person and to me, everything has it own place. I like things to be organized so I know exactly where it is when I need it. I found that I do not get along well with messy people. This is not to say that I don't have messy friends, but living with messy people is a different ball game.
Having a clean slate is an important characteristic to me because I don't want to get caught up in problems resulting from the illegal activities of someone else. Even though I may not have committed any crimes, I could still be involved because I live with that person. Those are extra problems I could do without. Some of those activities can also be contagious, where I might start participating in it merely because I am around it. Living with the person forces me to be around it, whereas if I was just hanging around, I can just leave and go elsewhere.
There are many people I hang out with but I would not choose to live with them. In order for me to even consider living with them, they would have to be honest, tidy, and clean, at the very least.
Now read the essay after I have removed everything but the thesis and the topic sentences:
The most important characteristic should be honesty. Other traits I would look for is cleanliness and a clean slate.
If I am going to live with someone, it is imperative that they understand and practice honesty.
I cannot stand to live in a disorganized place where everything is cluttered around.
Having a clean slate is an important characteristic to me because I don't want to get caught up in problems resulting from the illegal activities of someone else.
There are many people I hang out with but I would not choose to live with them. In order for me to even consider living with them, they would have to be honest, tidy, and clean, at the very least.
This essay is effective because
Consider the following sample "Three" essay written by an actual student who took a practice TWE:
TWE Prompt
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should be polite, no matter what the situation. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
There are many reasons why people should always be polite. First, people always learn polite in the school. Teachers always teach about politeness. So people believe to need to be polite whatever the situation. The adults also usually teach politeness to their children. In the society, it requires politeness too because the society consists of many people; they don't want to hurt each other.
On the other hand, some people disagree about "people should always be polite, no matter what the situation" because it seems like it is their fault. People have many emotions: happy, sad, angry, satisfy, upset, shy, etc. So, always politeness is hard for all people.
Although politeness is hard for people, it is always needed for people because people are society animals. Society also has been rule for long time. So people have to keep rule. If they break the rule themselves, They aren't people anymore. Furthermore, they need politeness for protecting themselves. So I believe, politeness is always needed by us. As result, we can live more friendly each other.
Now read the essay after I have removed everything but the thesis and the topic sentences:
First, people always learn polite in the school. So people believe to need to be polite whatever the situation. The adults also usually teach politeness to their children. In the society, it requires politeness too because the society consists of many people; they don't want to hurt each other.
On the other hand, some people disagree about "people should always be polite, no matter what the situation" because it seems like it is their fault.
Although politeness is hard for people, it is always needed for people because people are society animals.
This essay is not effective because
"Writing Topic Sentences" Exercise
3. Using common transition markers in the paragraph
Think of an essay as a river. Without bumps, gaps, or shifts, the paragraphs gently flow from one idea to the next. To make your essay flow as smoothly as possible, you must strengthen the ties between old information and new. One way to accomplish this is by using transitional words. Consider the following two paragraphs, the first being written with transitional words, the second one being written without them.
Using transitional words:
First, the advantage of comprehension exams is that the students don't need to work hard all time during a quarter. They need to work hard two weeks before comprehension exam begins. They will not have the pressure every week, and they can do other activities in the school without being concerned with the exam until two weeks before it starts. On the other hand, taking the exam once a week is good for the students who don't want to work hard at the end of the course. They don't have to read and memorize all the contents of the book at one time to pass the comprehension exam. They read just one or two chapters for the exam every week, so they will not have big stress at the end of course.
Not using transitional words:
The advantage of comprehension exams is that the students don't need to work hard all time during a quarter. They need to work hard for two weeks. The comprehension exam begins. They will not have the pressure every week. They can do other activities in the school without being concerned with the exam. They become concerned with the exam two weeks before it starts. Taking the exam once a week is good for the students who don't want to work hard at the end of the course. They don't have to read and memorize all the contents of the book at one time to pass the comprehension exam. They read just one or two chapters for the exam every week. They will not have big stress at the end of course.
The second paragraph, although grammatically well-written, does not have effective connections of time, addition, contrast, and cause-effect, which make it harder for the reader to understand the ideas.
Common transitions can be divided into eight categories according to the logical relationship they represent: addition (and), examples (for instance), comparison (likewise), contrast (yet), summarize/conclude (in short), time (while), place/direction (above), and logical relationship/cause-effect (therefore). The important thing as a writer is that you learn to use a variety of these in your writing. For example, a student taking an English 101 class used "however" forty-eight times in the same essay! Why use "however" forty-eight times, when you can use "but," "on the other hand," "in contrast," "nevertheless," "still," and so on?
Common Transitions drag and drop exercise
Just as important as using the correct transition word between ideas is the importance of using the correct sentence structure which the transition word requires. Consider the following three types of transition words of contrast and their accompanying sentences:
"But:" The machine works, but it is damaged.
"But" is a coordinating conjunction used to join to independent clauses together.
"Although:" The machine works although it is damaged.
Although it is damaged, the machine works.
"Although" is a subordinating dependent clause connector used to join an independent clause with a dependent clause. In this sentence, the independent clause(main idea) is "the machine." The dependent clause (support idea) is "it is damaged."
"However:" The machine works. However, it is damaged.
The machine works; however, it is damaged.
"However" is used as a transition word to join two separate sentences together.
These examples show that, although the three have the same meaning, they can be grouped grammatically into three categories: coordinators, subordinators, and transition words.
"Coordinators, Subordinators, and Transition words" drag and drop exerciseUnguided practice with coordinating, subordinating, and transition words Exercise
B. Using details to support generalizations
A common complaint of many students who take the TWE is that they did not have enough time to finish the essay. But you must remember that there are two reasons for having you take an essay exam:
1). To see how well you can write in English.
2). To see if you can finish the essay, that is the introduction, developmental paragraphs, and a conclusion withing the thirty minute timed constraint.
The best way to do this is by sticking to your subject and being thorough within your limits. Sticking to your subject means the topic sentences directly connect back to your thesis and the supporting details directly relate to your topic sentences. Being thorough within your limits means to develop ideas adequately at three coherent layers of meaning: main idea, three support ideas, six sub-support ideas. Or it is also possible to develop ideas adequately in this manner: main idea, two support ideas, and six sub-support ideas. If you try to do any more than that, you will most likely not have enough time to finish the essay, or you will not be able to support your generalities with specific and relevant evidence. Generalizations without support are not good, and details without generalizations are not good either. Read the next two examples of flawed paragraphs:
"Generalizations without Support" Paragraph:
Now TV can affect our lives. When we are bored, we might watch TV. They have a variety of programs, talk shows, news, drama and so on. We have enjoyment if we watch TV. If we are bored or have free time, we can enjoy on TV.
In this example, the writer says that TV has a variety of "programs, talk shows, news, and drama" but does not specifically name any such programs. This paragraph is making several general statements without supporting them with specific details. A revised version of this essay might look something like this:
TV can affect our lives by giving us enjoyment. For example, I enjoy watching MTV (Music Television). On that channel, I can watch my favorite singers such as Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, and Mariah Carey. Sometimes I sing along with them. Additionally, there is a reality show called "Survivor," whose candidates compete for a million dollar prize. I like to see which candidate will be eliminated each week.
"Details without Generalizations" Paragraph:
First example, a student has to be polite to his/her instructor. Using titles of respect, he/she has to respect him in whatever situation because if he/she doesn't, he/she can catch an F or a zero on a test or an assignment. At the very least, the student may create a bad impression of himself in front of his instructor. Furthermore, an impolite student has to leave the school and go away.
In this example, the writer has a well-developed detail statement (i.e., politeness with instructor) but has failed to write a generalization at the beginning of the essay. It is important to give the essay a topic sentence so that there is an explicit controlling theme to hold the ideas in the paragraph together. A revised version of this essay might look something like this:
Politeness is very important in relationships. First example, a student has to be polite to his/her instructor. Using titles of respect, he/she has to respect him in whatever situation, because if he/she doesn't, he/she can catch an F or zero on a test or an assignment. At the very least, the student may create a bad impression of himself in front of his instructor. Furthermore, an impolite student has to leave the school and go away.
The difficulty you might have when taking a timed essay is it is difficult to think of ideas in a pressure situation. The way to solve that problem is to practice your creativity before the taking an actual TWE. It would be wise for you to read books, magazines, and newspapers about popular American Culture topics. You could do this in your own language, but it would be better to do it in English since you can use the new vocabulary you learn in your writing.
If you get writer's block, or the inability to think of ideas, try asking yourself who, what, where, when, why, and how questions. For example, if you saw the question,
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
You could ask yourself the following:
1. What is the Internet?
2. Who uses it?
3. Why do people use it?
4. When did the Internet become important?
5. How is the Internet negative?
6. How is it positive?
"Generating Detail Statements" Exercise