In this exercise, you will practice scoring sample essays. Your goal is to get within one point of the original score. If you are consistently discrepant (i.e., your score differs by more than a point) in your scoring, you should go back to the "Sample Set Essays" of the Day Web Page to become more familiar with scored TWE essays. You will have achieved mastery of this exercise after accurately scoring two sample sets of essays or until you feel confident scoring TWE essays.
Read the following essays and score them from one to six. Refer to TWE scoring guide as you score the essays.
Today is day 30 of the month and so here is today's randomly ordered batch of TWE essays.
Exercise Thirty
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
A. Score
Today, people's life span becomes longer. Our country, Japan, is the best long life country in the world. Especially female's longevity is 84 years old on average. Even male's longevity is 77 years old on average.
My grandmother had an operation on her stomach cancer 2 years ago. If she took periodic health examination, she would have been died. Of course, cancer is still very serious disease, but we can cure even cancer detected early.
A few decades ago, people are hard to get food in our country. Japan doesn't have large field, therefore, people couldn't make enough food. Now our country's life span is the longest in the world, however, it was better that people could live 50 years at that time.
Finally, it is good that people can live longer, but it bring some problems to us at the same. We should think about our way to live newly.
B. Score
Everything in the universe is in constant change. The ever changing and developing world modify the environment where we live. As a consequence, people are living longer now. Among the reasons influenced on this phenomenon are better people's health, less dangerous life and more knowledge than in former times.
First, good health is the vital factor for a long life. Nowadays, when our medicine achieves a high peak of its development, we possess good medical preparates, tools and devices. For example, in case of respiratory insufficiency, both medicines and apparatus for artificial breath save people's life. The better organized medical ambulance together with advanced transport service helps to come in time even in distant regions. Furthermore, people use the richer selection of products. Hence, huge varieties of food are bought, enabling one to have a healthy diet. So, the right mode of life along with improved medical care prolongs longevity of life.
Since going away from wild nature, people provide themselves less dangerous life. They protect their life from unpredicted risks. For instance, living in nature and feeding on account of hunting in the forests or deserts generally was connected with threat from the predators, whom were also competing for the same food sources. Migration to the urban areas got rid of these problems and created a more quiet and calm people's lifestyle there.
Along with progress, people' knowledge leads to developing novel technologies. Despite the less active life, these innovations allow us to substitute for insufficiency of movement. New devices increase the activity of people, prevent obesity, and, thus, lead to the better health. In addition, there were created many kinds of sports, which remind us of the sorts of activity of our predecessors. Therefore, the improved health, the quiet lifestyle and the deep knowledge increase the prolongation of people's life.
C. Score
People have always dreamt of living for a hundred years and we have at our
disposal so many wonder drugs and therapies promising us a longer life. Anyway
it is a good sign of our times that we have a longer lifespan from our forefathers.
A number of factors is responsible for this positive phenomenon. In my opinion,
development of the technology, medical science, popularity of the health club
and also fad of vegetarianism made people to live more longer in comparison
to the early people.
People, now has come to know that life is a gift of god and wants to live more.
People have became health conscious and they go to doctor even they are suffered
from very small disease. They also go to health club to be more fit which makes
them free from the diseases and live longer.
Technology have created more advance equipments which have helped doctors to
cure their patients and medical science has made effective medicines by the
help of which people's diseases are cured. Medical science has also become success
to eradicate some transferable diseases, which has minimized the death rate
of the people of the nation. By this also we can think that people now are living
longer. For example we can hear before people use to die only because of small
disease like ""malaria"" now it has been eradicated from almost all over the
world.
At last, I would like to say that the consciousness of the people regarding
their health. Development of the technology and medical science that has invented
new process to and also a medicine to cure people''s diseases has made people
to live longer now.
D. Score
People live long when eat good exercise and sleep in bed every nights. Good advice that my father gave me was to exercise every week so we can always have good blood and strong heart. So people live long than before because of these things. I try to do them.
E. Score
A hundred years ago, the average life span of a human was a little more than fifty years in most developed countries. In the year 2002, on the other hand, Japan has an average life span of 82 years for women. The United States has a life span almost as high. In fact, many countries have experienced similar increases. What accounts for this dramatic increase in longevity? Cures against disease, more accessible medical research on preventative medicine, and developed countries drive against world hunger are three reasons to explain this phenomenon.
At the beginning of the twentieth century, doctors could not cure many diseases. For example, when my great grandfather became stricken with small pox, his doctor worked very hard to help treat the symptoms. But because there was no cure for small pox, he died a few weeks after being exposed to the virus. Nowadays, all children are required to receive a vaccination against small pox, making the occurrence of such an illness almost nonexistent. During the middle ages, thousands of people died in Europe because of the Bubonic Plague. This and other diseases, significantly causing death to people of young ages (i.e., Polio, Measles, Chicken Pox), are now eliminated due to simple vaccinations given to children.
In contrast to the past, modern society has ready access to medical research on preventative medicine. A current popular information medium on preventative medicine is the Internet. A useful Web Site titled WebMD has a wealth of information on cancer, obesity, maintaining a daily exercise routine, diabetes, sexual dysfunction, and so on. People can now learn how to prevent disease by reading medical journals and articles available at a click of a mouse. In the past, this type of information was only available to those in the medical community.
To further reduce the amount of people dying at younger ages, many developed countries have been educating its citizens about world hunger. Michael Jackson and other singers, a few years ago, wrote a song titled "Feed the World," which raised millions of dollars for starving children in Africa. Many nonprofit organizations to feed starving children in many countries spawned from that drive. It is not uncommon to see television ads in the US soliciting donations from Americans in an effort to feed those inside and outside the borders of the United States. Consequently, many children who would have otherwise died due to starvation are given vitamins, staple foods, and preventative medicines to help extend their life-spans and quality of life.
Cures for once uncurable diseases, easier access to medical research on how to prevent disease, and more food and money to children in starving countries now give many the opportunity to live longer and healthier lives. Perhaps in 3002, at our current rate of medicinal innovation, the average life-span may extend to 150 years to those living in developing countries.
F. Score
Through the periods of time people are very much concerned of their health.They are educated maintain their food habit to keep their body fit. They take exercises too. By the help of widely available communitaion system they can teach themselves to lead a sound life.So keeping good diet and concerned about health people live longer these days.
Correct Answers:
A. 3.0
B. 5.0
C. 4.0
D. 1.0
E. 6.0
F. 2.0